This Can't Be Real
by halfhuman123
Summary: Rated T for slight abuse and an almost character death. Roz and her father. Mostly my OC's, Private too. No pairings.


A/N: This was something short I thought of between classes, more notes below. I should actually be working on lots of other things besides this, but it was nagging at me ALL STINKIN' DAY.

**This Can't Be Real...**

Because if it were real, and he was here... It doesn't matter. This can't be real. And it's not real. Roz blinked several times, before rubbing her eyes as hard as she could. Yet, there he was, looking around, like it was completely normal to just be walking around like he was. Even though it wasn't. The otter stepped out, more into his line of view. He turned, and was about to greet her, but she shook her head and stepped back, out of his reach. "What are you doing here?" She asked, not sure why she was even asking. This wasn't even real, so she didn't even... need to know. He chuckled a little bit, and threw his head back, to clear the hair out of his eyes.

"What, I don't even get a hug? Harsh, Roz." Azai stood in front of her, all smiles, like nothing was wrong. Her father, whom she thought had died, was standing in front of her, as if nothing were wrong. Luckily, her mother was out, and Cube wasn't going to be around for a while. She crossed her arms and moved herself back some more, trying not to get to close to... whatever this was. "Rozalin..." Another shake of her head and she retreated farther back. Her father sighed and tried to think this through, his blond and sandy fur an almost direct reflection of her own.

Finally, he raked a hand through his hair and nodded. "Alright. So... I guess I do owe you an explanation--"

"You think?" She said, her voice cutting and sharp. Zee figured he deserved that. After all, he did abandon his family, faking his own death. So he ran. He wasn't ready for a family, for responsibility, for... any of this. His kids were great and all, but he couldn't handle being there for them. Not just yet. And when they came into his life, he wasn't sure he was able to raise them properly. When they started to walk and talk and grow, and come to him for help... he knew he wasn't ready. And so, he and Marlene decided, together, that he should leave, while they were still young, so the sting wouldn't hurt as badly. To fake his own death, she thought, was harsh... but he said it was all necessary. "So you abandoned us... because you thought you couldn't be a proper father to us?"

Roz felt betrayed and hurt. Well, of course she was betrayed and hurt, the man she once called father, the one who held her when she fell down and who was there for her whenever she needed him was a liar... and didn't even care about her at all. Azai shook his head. "No... I love you kids. I really do--"

The girl stomped her foot and took an angry step toward him. "Then why did you leave!? There are no classes on being a proper father, Azai." She said. The older otter blinked in surprise.

"Since when have you called my by my first name?" He asked. Roz glared at him, emotionless.

"Since when have you been wanting to come find us?" Zee was about to answer, but she stopped him. "Since when have you been wanting to have ANYTHING... to do with us?"

Azai sighed. He probably deserved this. All of this, it really wasn't fair that he deserted them like that. But what else was he supposed to do? Pretend? He couldn't handle it, it wasn't going to work, so he left. Wasn't that better than faking or even worse, letting them think he could be there for them when he really couldn't? He was a fighter, a lover, a musician. Not a father. Not a provider. Not a protector, or anything great like that. "Fine. Where's your mother?" When she asked him why, he gave his daughter the short answer. "I need to talk to her. Now. Where is she?"

The girl didn't want this guy here anymore. She wanted to have nothing to do with him. Even more, she wanted him to go back to being dead. Did that make her bad? For wanting any living thing dead? He had been dead to her for so long, going back to being dead wasn't really wishing him harm, just making things normal again. "Out. You should leave." Roz decided to take this matter into her own paws, as tiny as they were. She curled them into small fists, and did her best to stop shaking in anger. It didn't help, but she felt more in control when he took a daring, yet foolish step forward. "Just leave, okay!? You obviously don't want to be here, I don't even understand why you came back in the first place!" She yelled, finding it very hard to keep herself under control.

That wasn't true. He did want to be there. Azai wanted to give this whole thing another try, and he was ready to be a father to his children again. Roz laughed humorlessly. Did he really think it was that easy? Just... come back after being dead for so long? In all honesty, she hardly recognized him when he had first shown up at the zoo. It took her a second, because she thought it was Cube, but once she realized who it really was, all she wanted was for him to disappear. Roz heard herself even explain about the whole family splitting up; her mom going to New York, Renni going to live with her aunts, then vanishing to _somewhere_. "Listen, Roz, I'm sorry, okay? What do you want from me!?" He was getting fed up with this attitude he didn't know his little girl could have. Then again... His eyes scanned the girl over, noticing now more than ever how much more like her mother she was. Rozalin was no longer a little girl. When he left, she was barely able to throw a decent punch, much less hold her own head up. Now she was sticking up to him.

Azai was about to say something else when a small, sleepy young otter slipped out of a cave not far from where Roz was standing. "Roz? Wha-who's that? What's going on?" He asked. Roz rushed to him and hugged him briefly before sending... what did she say, Peanut? Before sending Peanut back inside. He cast one last look at Zee before hobbling back inside.

The situation was going from bad to worse now, Roz thought. The last thing she wanted was for Azai to know about Peanut, much less see him. She had to get him out of there now. "Who was that, Rozzy?" She felt her hands clench again as she cursed him.

"Don't call me that." Her voice was rough in her throat, and what she said came out in a growl, but obviously it didn't scare him. "That was my little brother, Peanut. Mom adopted him." There was no reason to lie to him. No reason to keep this from him. He would be gone soon anyway, so he'd just forget it as soon as he left the zoo. No harm, no foul.

His eyebrows shot up for a second before he looked back at the cave. So Marlene had adopted another kid? Why? And why was Roz still being so hostile? Didn't she want them to be a family again? He could be a father to this new kid too, it was a new start for them. The girl didn't seem to want to be in a listening mood, however, and just repeated that he needed to go. What a wake-up call that is, to be told by your little girl, who used to idolize the very ground you walked on, to get to steppin'. So that's how it was? "What happened to you, Roz? You used to be my little girl." A dark chuckle slipped from her and she commented that he used to be her father. "God, let it go, Rozalin. Where is your mother?" If being the nice guy didn't work, fine. He wouldn't be the nice guy anymore. He could be mister mean all day long, actually.

As her mouth worked itself into a tight knot, he felt the last of his patience slip from his grip. Fine. She wanted to play hardball? She didn't know how hard it could get. Her arm was small and frail in his hand, but care was the last thing on his mind. Roz squirmed and fought against the girp, but the more she tried to get out of it, the tighter it got. At one point, it pinched so hard, she squealed out loud. "Roz, look at me. ROZ. Look. At. Me." The forceful voice scared her into opening her eyes and stare into his angry poison-green ones. The ones that her brother had such pride in, because they belonged to his father as well. Now, she wasn't so sure if that was such a good thing. "Tell me." Her breath came out in short gasps, but that was it. No words, or gestures or anything.

Partially because the girl couldn't remember where her mother was. No matter how hard she reached into the depths of her mind, she couldn't remember where her mother had went. Where Cube was. Where anyone was. It was like she got the strangest, most sudden case of amnesia. Her throat felt like it was constricting, and, even though Zee's hand was cutting off circulation to her hand, that wasn't what was worrying her. It was that it was getting harder to breath, she couldn't speak or yell for help, and she couldn't remember... what was happening to her?

"You want me to leave?" He said, finally. Roz nodded furiously, just hoping he would go, no questions asked. "Fine. But you're coming with me." Azai grunted as he dragged her behind him. Suddenly, Roz felt like a rag doll, unable to fight back, to get away, even though she was doing everything she could. Her vision was dimming, why was it getting so hard to breath, why!? Mouth open, but no sound was coming out, and... Where was her mother? Her brother? Anybody!? As they reached the gate, it swung open, to reveal an outside she never knew was there. Why did the world end after the zoo gates? Azai dragged her closer and closer to the edge, and no matter how hard she fought, she couldn't get free of the iron grip her father had on her arm. "Roz... Roz..." His voice taunted and teased her, and in that second, she not only got a good glimpse at the edge of the world, but a picture as well. One that had captured her and her family, her real family-- Peanut, Cube, Renni, Her mother, Skipper and her-- perfectly. Unfortunately, it was being ripped all to pieces. Her brothers and sister... mother... Skipper... they were all separating, leaving her. And why? Because of him. Azai... He was tearing their family apart, it wasn't fair!

She felt herself being lifted up, and before he did anything else, he laughed. Just... tossed his head back and laughed, something cold and spine tingling. Roz felt her body give up, even though her mind knew she was far from finished. "And after I'm done with you... I'll go after them." He swore. Her world became a blur just then, and she felt herself falling, without any sign of stopping. Was this what the end of the world felt like? She couldn't let him get them. Her arm still hurt, but why? That's when she saw it. The ground. It was coming so fast, surely it couldn't hurt when she hit it at that speed? Then--!

Roz awoke with a start, air rushing back into her lungs, sweet and cold. She looked around her. Her mother and brothers were asleep around her, her arm was wrapped tightly in her blanket. Taking the thing off, she held onto her dream firmly. Well, not so much a dream as it was a nightmare. It seemed so real, too. The girl stood up and tip-toed around her brothers to where her mom slept, and stroked her head. Warmth meant life, and that was good. Before she could cry all over the place inside, she rushed out, so she wouldn't wake anyone up. Then... she cried. What was the matter with her? This was the third time she had had this dream. Of course, each time it was a little different, but it was still the same general idea. Her father would come back, and try to destroy her family somehow. She would say no, and he would kill her. Every time, she'd wake up before she actually died (Once it was actually a knife... that time she decided not to sleep again for a week.) but the shock was that he would swear he'd come for the rest of the family, each time in a similar manner. But why her? And why threaten them? Did she do something wrong?

"Roz?" Hearing her name made her jump, because she wasn't sure she was all the way awake. But when she turned and it was Private... she exhaled and wiped her face vigorously. Had he seen her cry? The past few days with them had been wonderful. She had been this strong girl... THEIR strong girl. And that was fine with her. Now? She was breaking down, crying at a nightmare that could never even happen, getting weak. She didn't want to disappoint them. Even though she told herself this, the tears didn't stop coming, and she didn't feel like hiding them anymore. She let them come in great sobs. "Roz, are you okay?" He asked, rushing up to her and holding her close to him.

She wasn't sure what to say, but telling him about the nightmare might help a little bit. They were, after all, like family. As she told him the tale, she grew worried. Roz never saw him in the picture (For the picture was always there), but if Zee said he was going after her family... wouldn't her whole family be included? Private was a great listener, and when she was done, she let out a great big sigh. Like a weight had been lifted from her chest. "Sounds like you need closure is all, Roz." She sniffled a bit, and listened to what he had to say. "You don't know what to do now that your family is changing, and you're worried about what your father would have thought." She looked up at the penguin's bright blue eyes. Why was it that he was the youngest, and yet he was always the one with the most worldly knowledge? "You have to trust, though, that your father is accepting of whatever you choose to do." Her eyes widened. That's not what she expected him to say. "And some of this is a bit out of your control, don't you think?" He winked at her, causing her to smile.

Private stood up, and offered her his flipper, but she declined. "I'm going to sit out here for a while longer." He nodded, and was about to head to his own habitat when he heard her make a soft noise behind him. "Private? Thank you. I..." It sounded like she was going to say something else, but she shook it from her mind. "Just... thank you. That's it." He left the girl alone, and, as she sat and looked at the moon, she felt a sort of calm that she didn't know she could feel.

Maybe, it could be real. And that was okay. Roz smiled as she got up, and stretched. It was okay.

**END!**

A/N: I don't want you to get the wrong idea, so I'll explain this. Azai Zho isn't a jerk. That's not what I was trying to get across here. It's more like a... be careful what you wish for kind of thing. In this dream, Roz sees her father again, who, instead of being crushed like she was told, ran away because he was afraid he couldn't take care of his three children. Roz was very young when this happened, so she never saw the body. None of the kids did. He came back to try and reclaim his family. But remember, this is a DREAM in Roz's head. Azai really is dead, and he's really REALLY not coming back. I felt kinda emotional today, I guess, and I needed to write this out. I don't have any qualms with Zee, in my mind, he's perfectly decent and would NEVER do this to his family. But you know how dreams are. They don't listen very well. I chose Private at the end because he seemed to fit the best. Yes, even better than Skipper. Questions, comments, concerns, lobster? After I posted this I remembered that I forgot to mention, the very awesome ponytail30527 let me use her characters for plot-bunnies. Peanut is hers, NOT mine, go read her stories and/or profile to find out more about him and his friends. Goes to show how out of it I am. Wow.


End file.
